Thursday, August 7, 2008

A different perspective

As I expected, Maddie came to me a few days after our cesarean/birth canal conversation to clarify a few points. Mostly her questions were repeats of what she asked when I first told her. Other times she just told me the story.

A couple of days ago, though, she asked again to see my "straight line." She looked at it while telling her birth story in her words: "I was a little baby in your tummy and when I got big you thought I was sick, so the doctors cut open your straight line to get me out fast but I was okay." Then she gave me a hug around my waist and said, "I love your straight line. I was okay cause I came out fast from your straight line."

I didn't and don't know what to say. Except that I have a new perspective on my scar. It no longer represents betrayal and pain to me. It represents love and sacrifice, and my willingness to do what I thought was best for my baby, even if it wasn't best for me.