My first son was a c-section, I went to 42 weeks, I was very culturally normal in my views about birth to the detriment of my body.
My second son was a vbac in a hospital with LOTS of interventions. I started on my path with this pregnancy towards what I hope will someday be a life filled with babies and bellies. I wanted something different but lacked the courage to take the plunge and I found very few people to help me.
This is my third baby, she was born at home, caught by my husband in our spare bedroom.
She was born at 43 weeks gestation, I am sure of my dates and my other two children were both induced because I went over 42 weeks. its is NORMAL for my body to gestate babies longer than the average women. Even average is debatable because we induce almost everyone in this country.
I woke up around 2:30 am with contractions. They were strong but not bad at all. I had to breathe through them but I was happy they were finally here. They were like 5-7mins apart but I did very little clock looking pretty much this whole labor. I knew I wasn’t on a time table so I just didn’t care. I tried to sleep, I wanted to sleep, and I could have easily in the beginning except my 2.5 yr old son would cry in his sleep each time I had a contraction. It was the most bizarre thing, like his body new what was happening in mine. I got up and stayed up from about then on because there seemed no point in trying. (I should have kept trying!) My hubby got up around 4:30 to get ready for work and I told him today was most likely the day but they were really manageable and I was feeling like it was still far off. He left at 5:45 and I got a knock on the door at 6:05 and they had sent him home (hooray!) so besides being happy I was feeling pressure to perform which is not good for me so I just tried to ignore it. Around 7 am I woke up my mom who was staying with us and let her know what was going on. More contractions and around 8 am I called my midwife and told her I was in labor and all that jazz. (my midwife was sort of a backup I intended on keeping her in the loop but I wanted to do this by myself)Around 9 my mom left with my kids to my grandma’s house to go swimming and give me and the hubby some time. We went to a trail to go hiking and help labor proceed. The trail was gorgeous I got to show my hubby tons of wildflowers and soon-to-be-ripening berries, wild honeysuckle and all sorts of neat stuff. We took a really hilly steep trail and I would stop every few minutes and hold onto him and do hip movements from belly dance (if you perform at all it will be a big help to you during labor). We did this for about an hour and a half and headed home.When I got there I saw Anne (the MW) had called like 3 times so I rang her back and she said she was in town and she had to leave for work at 1:30 (she is an R.N. at a local hospital as well) so would I like her to come see how things are going and if we were gonna maybe have this baby by then. I said Yes but I was sorta not ok with it because me and Matt (the DH) had planned on having some intimate time and then showering together and nipple stim to help move things along and so it impeded on that. Anne arrived and asked if I wanted to be checked and I said sure why not. I was 6cm and all that so I was like woot! My Grandma called at this time and Matt answered and told her and she said that she, my ma, and the kids were on their way (a 40 minute drive) I could not for the life of me get this because my grandma did not wanna be here for birth and I did not want anyone their that was negative. So between my unexpected MW and my grandma I totally stalled. Nothing. Going. On. At. All. My contractions spaced out to like 3-4 an hour till my mom and grandma and midwife finally all left at like 12:30 Once they left me and the hubs went and laid down and focused on just being together That really got things going and I had a couple strong contractions during. Afterwards I hopped in the shower for a looooooooooooooooong time and did tons of nipple stimulation (that helps with contractions if you don't know already).Around 2pm I finally got out of the shower and had Matt fill up the birth tub. I got in and it felt great. The contractions weren’t coming at what I thought was fast enough (little did I know my contractions never did pick up to what a normal labor should be) so I would do nipple stim till I could feel one coming and then stop right away cuz they would be really intense. It wasn’t till this point that I really thought for sure this kid is coming today. This is also where my contractions went from contractions I had felt before to really odd horrible nerve pain coming from all over. If someone would touch the wrong area it would shoot into that area. It felt nothing like the period-like cramps I had always associated with real contractions (this is my 3rd baby folks so I am still at a loss wth these were) when she finally did come out her cone was slightly angled so my best guess is asynclintic presentation maybe? She was anterior and I did not tear at all so who knows? I have no time frame for the rest of this. The contractions were pretty hard to manage at this point so I got out of the pool and was gonna try and lay down. I went in the bedroom and laid there and almost screamed as the first contraction hit. I yelled for Matt to get in here now and tried to get on my feet mid contraction and sorta accomplished that. I was exhausted from not sleeping and I knew then that till I birthed this kid I was gonna stay pretty damn tired. My mom, grandma, and kids came back (Matt had told my mom just herself to come but that didn’t happen) and my oldest was so excited (we had been planning on having him stay with us for the birth) he was on me like glue but the contractions were so strong I couldn’t be touched and so I kept saying I was sorry to him but he couldn’t touch me My friend Emma stopped over not realizing I was in labor, I am so thankful. Emma had delivered 4 kids naturally in a hospital so she was able to offer a ton of good advice in the thick of it (rolling pin on my lower back saved my life thanks to her) More contractions. Things going crazy. I cried in the bathroom and that felt good to release it all. The only way I can get through a contraction is standing and laying my head and my hand on the wall and sticking out my butt or sitting on the toilet and bracing the walls with my arms. I switch those 2 positions when one of them gets unbearable. I had matt refill our birth pool again because I wanted HOT water. I laid in it and the contractions slowed for a bit. My mom was worried cuz she wants to know how dialated I am so I tell Matt to call Lexi (my friend who is in school for midwifery and I trust her with my life) and my mom and her talk while I labor in the tub. In between contractions Lex tells my mom about how there can be a line from the vagina to the anus that can show dialation sometimes and my mom checks and says it looks like the line is there. I talk to lexi on the phone while in the tub and she listens to 2 contractions where I start making really deep guttural sounds and it feels so good to make them!!! Like blessed relief. She says “Cass you gotta stop focusing on your kids and talking to people and go deep inside yourself. There is only a handful of contractions left” (talking to her now she was so mad at herself for saying that because she would have felt horrible had she been wrong but it just popped out and welllll she wasn’t wrong) Lexi was my Godsend and I realigned my thinking and got off the phone with her feeling better.The next contraction hits and I’m like “OMG it’s the ring of fire! It’s the ring of fire!” no one around me even knows what that means cuz they don’t read birth stuff like I do but I was so thankful and so shocked. So my grandma decides to take the kids to the park cuz they are bouncing around excited like wild cavemen. The next contraction hits and I am like get me out of this water, I cant be In it I cant push like this, So I make it through that one and walk to my spare bedroom and try side lying and it feels horrible. I can't push, I tried for 2 contractions and everytime I try to push its like horrible shooting nerve pain that makes no sense to me.(upon doing research I really believe foetal ejection reflex was the reason I could not make my body push as it was already pushing instinctively) Pushing is the relief and yet my body won’t even let me push. I try one more contraction and my water breaks and drenches my husband (he is still a bit traumatized lol!) I get on the floor on my hands and knees and it feels a bit better. The next contraction her head comes out a bit and sucks in my family is like NO NO NO and I am like people stfu this is normal and good. leave me alone (Lexi was on the phone during this and was like you said this so calm I couldn’t believe it but I wasn’t calm it just sounded like it) I think once more her head came half out and went back in and on the next contraction hear head was out and I thought I was ripped in friggin half. With the next contraction I remember yelling at matt to pull her out cuz OMG it didn’t actually hurt but I thought my body was going to break in two pieces. Her body sorta flew out and Emma said she cried before her shoulders were even fully birthed. Daddy caught her so that was pretty nifty. She had a knot in her cord which was cool. The last birth I attended (Lexi’s awesome HBAC) her daughter had a knot as well so I was like WOW two in a row! I expelled a ton of clots right before the placenta came out and I have had very light PP bleeding so I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. I cut the cord myself after I delivered the placenta. And yeah so that’s her story. I did not tear even though she was 10lb.s and 21.5 inches long. Her named is Rosalind.